U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
