My first STD was from a foam party
id be glad to
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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