If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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