Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
