I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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