All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
