come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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