So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
