I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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