Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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