So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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