I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
