So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
