just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
