That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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