hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
