we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
