some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
