Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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