grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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