I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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