sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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