wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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