nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
