okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
