I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
