Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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