I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
