my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
