The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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