I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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