We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
