so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
