i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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