if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
