I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
