In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
