lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
should my penis look like a turkey
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
