btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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