Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
