No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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