All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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