I wannas sexs uuuuu
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
