you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
