She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
