so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
