Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
