The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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