He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
