Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
