Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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